Thursday, December 8, 2016

The Two Me's

"Tell us about yourself..."

Does that question ever get you stumbling over your words and you get the deer-in-headlights look on your face?

Well that happened the other day.  I was so excited to be invited to a Network Marketing party for our company that I was the first one there!  I do not go to nice restaurants much anymore (you will learn why a little later on) so this was a very nice break; to be eating with adults.  Many of us were meeting face to face for the first time and chatting away trying to find someone we had in common.

Then it happened!  Our upline made the dreaded request - "Let's go around the table and everyone introduce yourself." In times past, the question would be welcomed by me, since I love to talk and things that I love are my main talking points.  But now it is different, even difficult.

You see, my husband of 22 years died last year, we had no children, I had no siblings and my parents died around ten years ago.  So I tend not to go to restaurants because I do not want to eat by myself in a crowd.  If I am going to eat alone, it is much easier to do it at home, and cheaper, I might add.

When people introduce themselves, they usually talk about their family in the present tense.  If I bring up family, it is in the past tense.  It is not that I hate to talk about Fred, but I feel like what I would love to talk about would bring a damper down on the festivities. 

People also pepper their conversations with what their husband and children are doing, how they are growing, what sports they are in.  And again, I have nothing much to contribute.  I have nothing in common with young mommas or others who are married.  I feel very awkward saying "Fred used to do that".  

But on the other hand, I feel like I am not acknowledging a big part of my past, which made me who I am.  With me not talking about my past, people don't know the real me.

That is just something I will have to work out each time, but it doesn't get any easier.  Just know that when someone stumbles over their words when introducing themselves, maybe it is their way of trying not to bring you the worst of their life in the begining.  It takes awhile of building trust before a widow/widower is willing to be open.

My life verse is:  Zephaniah 3:17 (ASV)  
"Jehovah thy God is in the midst of thee, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love; he will joy over thee with singing."
Have you ever thought about God singing over you or holding you like a crying child?  That is the image I get with this verse.  I "found" it when my father died and it has fit in so many circumstances.  I didn't find it - God revealed it to me when I needed it.

In hard times, run to God, jump in His lap, and let Him comfort you.  Listen to His song.


  1. Wow... I usually don't read blog posts past the first paragraph, but I finished yours and wanted more. I can relate, Rogers! Thanks for sharing!

    1. Thanks so much for your comment. It means so much to know my story can resonate.

  2. It's hard to open up and talk about things like this. My mom lost three children and she always wonders when people ask about her if she should bring them up or not. She's always in conflict. Breaks my heart. I always tell her she should never hesitate to share if she feels like it, regardless of the people around her.I'm so sorry for your loss, Carla, I can't even imagine the loneliness you must be fighting. You are kind, and smart, and funny and I have really enjoyed our interactions. <3

    1. Your comment means so much! I have really loved getting to know you too. Tell you momma to tell them! She has 3 children waiting for her. What a great reunion that will be!